Its a shit business

Oh Boy!
How wrong can a man be? I'd heard that Djibouti had a kicking scene right? Remember?
So I'd managed to scrape some dough together and get my sorry bottom over there. Booked my flight through some online agent. I didn't know where in the world Djibouti is (I do now!!). I managed to rent my house out as I figured I'd be in Djibouti for a couple of months.

Its all fucking desert man!
I couldn't find one single nightclub. I took some of my demos over there figuring I could get some club DJs on my team. The only DJ I found was DJ IBOUTI hahahahah get it? At least I still have my sense of humour (and my looks)
I did get to swim in the Red Sea though - which to my surprise was not red? How does that work?
So I've spent nearly 4 weeks wandering round a desert looking for a nightclub. I've had a colourful life, you gotta give me that! And Djibouti is fucking hot man! I don't like wearing suncream as it affects my Face - now I'm all burnt and shit. Sodding travel agent. They must have seen me coming.
And am I glad to be back?
No.
Some bastards stole my Allegro. It was parked outside my house and now its gone and in a cruel twist they ripped off my CD petrol cap and threw it in the gutter. So listen up Mr Policeman - you're looking for a thieving no good son of a bastard that has no taste in music, ok!!

And those twats that rented my house refuse to leave. They rented it for 2 months and now I'm stuck with lodgers in my own home. They're a couple of old goths with 2 kids. I could cry!

Every silver lining has a cloud!
Strange thing fate isn't it?
If anyone (please? anyone?) is following these words of wisdom they may recall that I recently had a spat with my erstwhile window cleaner.
Well, since taking over the window cleaning duties of my own humble home a number of neighbours have approached me and commented on how clean my windows are, that they could see my Face in them!
So I started my own window cleaning route!
And I'm pushing that bastard outta business.

So I'm paying my bills again.
Sad thing is this is taking my time away from my songwriting and imminent comeback (I've come back seven times in total). I figure if I do this window cleaning thing for a few weeks I should be able to get a couple hundred quid together then I can fly out to Djibouti. I heard they have a kickin' scene over there.

Watch this Face

I don't know how to retract posts?
I changed my mind about Pickup Face's Pomp. Its a shit name for a shit drink. I can't sully Pickups Appetizer like that. There may be legal issues too.
I just remember the last time I released a product onto the market and the resulting furore and public outcry that ensued. I spent two days in a prison cell in Antigua when all that blew up (but I don't talk about that).
I'm desperate here. Looks like my latest recording has bombed and once again I'm left out of pocket.
Anyone know any get rich quick schemes?

Two parts Pickup's Appetizer and one part chateau du pompidou!
That is the drink of the future! It is flipping gorgeous.
I stumbled on this by mistake... ran out of my beloved Pickups and all that was left in the house was a crate of chateau du pompidou. Admittedly that stuff tastes like antelope piss (yes I tasted that before you ask) but when I ran out to get more Pickups I had the brainwave of mixing the two.

I think there could be some mozarella in this for me. If I can mix it proper and market it and buy some cheap bottles to bottle it up proper. Maybe if I borrow my daughter's inkjet printer I can do some labels.
PICKUP FACE's POMP!! hows that for a name. would YOU buy it?
If so how much would you be prepared to pay for it.

Hey, maybe I can sell it on ebay. It'd be cheaper than trying to get it into Tesco.

I think I'm onto something.

I'm disowning my kid.
I stopped by RodStewart Jackson's for an unexpected visit and look what he's used my bloody CD for...

What a little shit.

So maybe I've overreacted by saying I'm quitting. After all, SIX rang me today to say that the mother of his son Lil' Keesh might be able to get the record played at her alternative therapy salon. OK, maybe "alternative therapy" is a bit broad. Massage parlor? Whore den? Whatever, it's all good. She says they get some high end clientèle for the Freeky Friday specials. Maybe one of them will have some industry connections. After all it is where she met SIX...
I think I'll hang in there a bit longer. After all, you gotta pay your dues!

You bastards!
Look. I know for a fact that when the fan club folded we had at least 26 members. So why the F*** have you 26 people not bought Poke A Face?
During my stay in the psychiatric ward in the 90s it was the interaction with my fans that kept me going. What happened guys? Where are you now?
I know this credit crunch bites but come on, £4.99 is not gonna break your bank now is it.
It cost me £712 for 4 return flights to Albania. I spent 4 days out there recording with SIX CHIP DINNER and the bastard wouldn't let me stay over. No hotels (that would pander to my high living lifestyle) so I returned home to London each night when we were through at the studio.
The studio? £18,000 that cost me.
So 18000 + 712 = ... erm... £18,712
So SIX and I need to sell 3743 recordings each just to break even.
My son, RodStewart Jackson bought one - but I let him have that for a straight £4 so I made a 99p loss there. Thanks kid.
I'm thinking this collaboration hasn't gone to plan. SIX CHIP DINNER said we would be on Rrokum for months on end.
Lying sack of shit.
I'm quitting the music business. I've had it with all this crap.
I'm ranting I know, but come on! Come on!! Another f***ing dream shattered.

I cracked a pane of glass whilst cleaning the windows again earlier.
The windowlene is wreaking havoc with my skin too.
Not a good day really

Wow, I found out from SIX CHIP DINNER today that Pickup's Appetizer is the equivalent of just 17p per litre bottle in Albania. I'm considering emigrating. Again!

Bit pissed off at the lack of interest in my new recording...
just saying, you know?

kalonte Tizer dhe le të partisë.

That's "Pass the Tizer and let's party" for you philistines who don't speak Albanian, the language of love and music.